Happy Orange Gnome

Heath Ledger has been dead now for less than a day and already the Westboro Baptist Church Fucks are planning on picketing his funeral. A stunt that will no doubt provide them with more media coverage than any of their previous crimes against humanity. And there will be Fred Phelps spouting hate and ignorance, all the while pretending that it’s about upholding God’s law or something, when it’s really about Fred feeding his ego.

Isn’t Pride a sin or something there, Phelps? I know Wrath is one and with the amount you go on about hating things, you definitely exhibit buckets full of Wrath and since getting absolved or rebaptised or whatever the fuck would involve you admitting you’d done something wrong, you’d never do it. By your on stupid religious laws you’re fucking doomed, bitch.

I’m not really sure what I’m going on about here. I guess I’m just pissed off that an actor that has brought lots of entertainment and joy into my life is gone and that some stupid bigoted asshole is going to try and fuck with the bereaved’s shit, just to get his ugly shit face on television again and the fucker will, regardless of whether picketing happens or not.

I’m also pissed off at myself. Until now, I’ve watched the antics of Fred Phelps with indifference. He was just a crazy guy doing crazy shit. It took some stupid shit involving a pretty-boy actor to get me incensed. I’m disappointed in myself for not caring about the little guys Fred’s been fucking with.

Sooooooo, anyway… You like being like Jesus there, Phelps my boy? I’ll make you a fucking martyr. You can even have your own cross to carry, if you want one. Only above yours the plaque will read “King of the Assholes”. On the third day, instead of of you rising from your grave, I’ll be pissing on it and the the world will be a fucking better place.

Well, that’s enough of me venting. I’ll probably regret this in the morning.

Here’s to the day when I have a calmer head that will prevail or whatever.

• Tags+Categories=BAGAGH?! (2)

Lately, I’ve been watching a lot of television (the outdoors is currently cold and unpleasant) and I’ve noticed a disturbing trend in the herpes medication commercials. Mainly, that there are so many couples featured in them.

I don’t know about you, but if I found out that my husband had herpes, he wouldn’t remain my husband for very much longer. In fact, I’d probably murder his sorry ass and I sure as Hell wouldn’t let him anywhere near my vagina ever again, even if he was taking Valtrex to control his outbreaks (ew ew ew fucking ew!)

Generally speaking, if you have periodic outbreaks of anything, I’m going to pitch you to the curve. Outbreaks are a deal breaker for me.

For example, I would be extremely displeased with periodic outbreaks of choreographed song and dance with the villagers. Those villagers must toil day and night in my mines and fields, if we are to achieved the quotas set forth by the Five Year Plan.

I AM NOT GOING TO HAVE STALIN MURDER MY ASS AGAIN!

That reminds me. Being Joseph Stalin is also a deal breaker for me.

I just really hate moustaches. Although, I am impartial to beards with moustaches, but not without moustaches.

I’m weird like that.

Can someone please send me some gauze? I think my brain is leaking out my ear!

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