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A Crude, Yet Mystical Digging Tool

My local movie theatre is like the only one within a 300 mile radius, thus, at the best of times, it’s hard to get tickets and decent seats, but when a huge movie like Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull rolls in, it’s nigh-impossible, so I went to The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian instead.

The above would seem like a run-on sentence, but it’s not.


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Prince Caspian is about a bunch of kids defending a bunch of mystical animals from genocide by the Spanish. The kids do this because they think it’s what the great Jesus-lion would want them to do, but the Jesus-lion works in mysterious ways or something or other. It’s basically just kids and centaurs stabbing Spanish guys for two hours and this supposedly has something to do with Christianity. I am oversimplifying, of course, because I am an obtuse and unedifying individual. It’s how I roll. Deal with it.

Anyhoo, the religious message in Prince Caspian, like in The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe before it, is actually buried kind’ve deep. You pretty much have be aware of all the symbolism beforehand and look for it really hard, to notice anything. I very much doubt that your average kid, twelve or under, would notice it on their own. Which is why I am confused that the Religious Right (bum bum BUM), would think that massive box office intake of the Narnia movies means some sort victory for them. The movies, in my mind, are more likely to turn kids on to fantasy than to Jesus. And, as we all know, fantasy is the DEVIL!


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Also, WTF, the Jesus-lion, Aslan, calls upon Poseidon or Neptune (I think they’re the same guy), to do his dirty work. Unless, of course, the giant dude made out of water with the curly Greek beard represents archangel Michael or somesuch. Michael’s modus operandi was usually fire though. No, I’m pretty sure it was Poseidon. Dang movie is gonna turn your kids into a bunch of old-god worshipping hippies.

BTW, the moral of the movie seemed, at least to me, to be: “You can kill as many people as you want (especially Spaniards), as long as, in the end, you believe in Jesus.”  I hope I don’t have to explain what’s wrong with that, do I?

I must be getting old, because watching a bunch of children going to war and killing people, in this movie, actually kind’ve upset me. I blame having to do research about the Children’s Crusade and the Lord’s Resistance Army in High School.

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This entry was posted on Saturday, May 24th, 2008 at 4:28 pm and is filed under Movies, Religion, Spoilers. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

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