Happy Orange Gnome

All day today, all I’ve been hearing about is stupid Vanessa Anne Hudgens (whom I’ve never even heard of before) and her stupid nude photos.

Why does this shit even make the news? Especially when the person involved is some c-grade actress that nobody had even heard of before and she isn’t even doing anything interesting in the photos. She’s just standing there naked. You can find more salacious photos on Wikipedia.

Stupid girls take naked photos of themselves all the time and 80% of those photos get posted on the internet. It’s not news.

If nude photos are going to make the news, it should be at least something like shocking like a picture of Morgan Freeman naked on horseback jerking off to a picture of Vanessa Anne Hudgens. You know, something that’s so outrageously vile that it would be insane for it not to be news.

That’s another complaint of mine. Why are there never any naked photos of male celebrities leaked to the internet?

I DEMAND PATRICK STEWART COCK BE PLACED ON THE INTERTUBES FOR MY AMUSEMENT!

• Penis on a Sunny Day (19)
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You know, there was a time when I wanted to become an artist and then I drew this…

The thought of a bunch of educated jerks gathering this and seriously critiquing it sickens me. There is no deeper meaning to “Penis on a Sunny Day”. It’s exactly what the title says it is. I have a complete inability to add any pretension to any of my drawings or paintings, which is why I can’t be an artist.

Also, cocks…

• Why is Nudity Newsworthy? (4)