Herpes and other Deal Breakers
Sunday, January 20th, 2008Lately, I’ve been watching a lot of television (the outdoors is currently cold and unpleasant) and I’ve noticed a disturbing trend in the herpes medication commercials. Mainly, that there are so many couples featured in them.
I don’t know about you, but if I found out that my husband had herpes, he wouldn’t remain my husband for very much longer. In fact, I’d probably murder his sorry ass and I sure as Hell wouldn’t let him anywhere near my vagina ever again, even if he was taking Valtrex to control his outbreaks (ew ew ew fucking ew!)
Generally speaking, if you have periodic outbreaks of anything, I’m going to pitch you to the curve. Outbreaks are a deal breaker for me.
For example, I would be extremely displeased with periodic outbreaks of choreographed song and dance with the villagers. Those villagers must toil day and night in my mines and fields, if we are to achieved the quotas set forth by the Five Year Plan.
I AM NOT GOING TO HAVE STALIN MURDER MY ASS AGAIN!
That reminds me. Being Joseph Stalin is also a deal breaker for me.
I just really hate moustaches. Although, I am impartial to beards with moustaches, but not without moustaches.
I’m weird like that.
Can someone please send me some gauze? I think my brain is leaking out my ear!