Open Letter to All the Stupid Girls
Thursday, November 8th, 2007Dearest Stupid Girls,
It has come to my attention that you poor little idiots have decided that it’s cool to post pictures of yourselves half-naked, passed out and covered in puke on the internet, especially on social networking sites.
I don’t know if you have ever heard of the word “retarded”, but I’d say that you are prime examples of it.
The reason your pictures are getting so many views is not because you are cool. It’s because everyone likes to point and laugh at retarded girls and thank the stars that they aren’t one themselves. And school employees like to scan them for underage kids so they can expel people.
You turds are just damaging your entire lives for 15 minutes of infamy (not fame) and I would like you to stop, because your self-destructiveness makes me sad (*grumble* lousy conscience).
However, I would also like to thank you, because no matter how awful things in my life get, I can always say, “at least there are no pictures of me passed out in Jay’s scuzzy basement, with my miniskirt pulled over my head and a stranger’s finger up my ass, like there are of my friend Melinda.”
Love, Mom.
P.S. I regret having ever given birth to you ingrates.